Friday, March 02, 2007

It's freezing here for me but something kept me bothered. I don't know what's gonna happen to me cs i'm all worked up for lucas face and all. To tell you guys the truth i'll do anything for the TFR even if it means my life cs i don't want anyone to get hurt by someone else. Seeing bob injured and having a fractured collar bone and thigh made me more desperate for a fight. More of that later on but let's get back to my personal life. Hmm, here it goes.. i kept wondering until when will i have to puase of not going out wit her even if it's just for awhile i don't mind. It's not about the everyday-after school thingy with her but i just want her to just go out with me once. I felt like crying just now during the routine, until when dear? sampai biler, sampai biler i nk kenek puase. I'm so fucked up cs i feel like i'm a nobody..

Seeing ali with shasha going out sometimes made me kinda leftout. I'm always free on saturdays and i usually spend that time alone under the shelter hitting some smokes and also reflecting the past. I'm totally bored with it already. I slept in the bus with wan leaving kai playing with my psp. I really feel like crying as i type out all this. All i have to do now is being patient. I think i'm losing my mind but i will shine away from the pacific csi don't want you guys to know, soon you'll see my heart in the saddest state it's ever been to and this is no place to try and live my life. Felt drunk when i got up from my sleep though i did not drink. I think i smoked too much. Kai has changed alot, and i like that. He made me more of protecting him. I hated him no more and i welcomed wan to the family. All i can say now my heart is worst than a war zone its not normal no more.

I had to create exits for kai and muiz so they could be safe in my eyes. Even if it means my life. My heart is in disorder. I want to hit the smokes now but dad's still in the living room. But the main point is i really wanna spend time with sweets but she just CAN'T! haish. So fucked up. Sweet's msg-ing me but i kept ignoring them cs i kept thinking about some stuffs. All i'm doing is planning up is exits to everything. Hope it doesn't mess my brain around that much. Fuck my life for making me such a mess, ppl kept judging me!

Toodles~ I will shine away from the pacific

3/02/2007 11:09:00 PM; i wan to jump frm lvl 15, n see if landed properly

the kid.

Huzairul / iRul
*- school: Yuan Ching Sec
*- b'dae: 01 Jan 1992
*- status: Bassist/Guitarist

my <3.
*- .my Dearest
*- .the Four Brothers & Elfy
*- .my Brothers of YCs
*- .my KC's
*- .the 4o2's
*- .my Family & Cousins
*- .Chocolates

my HATES.
*- .BackStabbers
*- .being SLAVED by RICH PEOPLE
*- .Liars
*- .Hypocrites
*- .those who JUDGE me
*- .SKINHEADS & CULTURES
*- .SonawaB*tch
*- .Being LEFT OUT

MY WISHES.
*- .get my Electric Guitar this year
*- .be a good Bassist/Guitarist
*- .hab a good YEAR
*- .be Eighteen years old NOW!
*- .laptop.=
*- .PARKOUR from my house LVL 2
*- .STOP SMOKING
*- .PSP

getFCUKEDhere.

SONGSinmyHEAD.

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